Empowering people to achieve optimal mental, physical and emotional well-being.
Hypno-Healthgram: Issue 67
Batting A Thousand
At the beginning of each baseball season, a few professional players will get a hit each time they are at bat. Whether they are one for one, five for five, or higher, they appear, briefly, at the zenith of hitting stats: 1.000, batting 1.000, or having a 1.000 batting average. That’s a rare occurrence and is impossible to sustain for an extended period of time. To put it in perspective, an average of .300 (3 hits in every 10 at-bats) represents the realm of elite hitters. But baseball players sometimes go into slumps, which may last for frustratingly long periods of time. As slumps continue hitters “press” and try too hard to change. They tighten up and move farther away from the relaxed, natural rhythm that produces optimal batting averages.
Shift gears and equate the state of slumping baseball players with the wolf/elk relationship in Wyoming, Idaho and Montana. A recent National Geographic article thoroughly reviewed the state of Yellowstone National Park’s ecosystem and the finely-tuned balance nature needs to survive and thrive. The successful reintroduction of wolves into the park added a needed dimension to animal interactions. Interestingly, the large elk herds had to be “thinned” periodically by allowing an annual hunting season to keep their numbers in line with the natural flow of the park inhabitants. Wolves became the answer that caused the elk population to stabilize, without the need for human hunters. Wolves prey upon young, old and injured elk, but their persistent presence also causes mature elk to shut down their reproductive systems. The ever-present and anticipated danger of wolves put so much stress on many of the elk that they were unable to procreate. In effect, they are like the baseball players, too tense and tight to do what should happen easily, comfortably and naturally.
Shift once again, to people. Doesn’t it make sense that when people cannot enjoy sexual relations in relaxed, comfortable, natural ways, there are stressors that have been contributing to their dysfunction? In my hypnotherapeutic work with people, with over 260 different issues, invariably there are experiences, messages and influences that have contributed to dis-function and dis-ease. When you read words like sexual performance anxiety, sexual frigidity, or erectile dysfunction, remember the Yellowstone elk and the slumping baseball players.
I received an email from a young man who had been referred by his therapist. His primary concern was sexual performance problems, which had been plaguing him for many years. When he arrived at the Hypno-Health office, I observed a strong, athletic, good-looking, easy-smiling, twenty-something fellow who outwardly gave no indication of inner struggles. He mentioned having been thoroughly checked out medically and there was no apparent reason for his problems. After getting acquainted and reviewing the hypnosis process, I asked about his growing-up years. His father was relaxed and loving, but busy with work, seldom around, and often ineffective in dealing with Justin when he was at home. His mother was “always there” and supported Justin by attending all of his sporting events. She was also always on his case and usually critical of him. The constant criticism became a thorn in Justin’s side and wore away at his self-confidence.
Justin had short relationships with women and eventually a 5-year-one that had ended a year before he came to the office. It went well initially, but eventually deteriorated into an unhappy, argumentative stalemate, with both holding on but feeling terrible. He had always had some sexual issues, but he became completely unable to perform sexually during the last two years of that relationship.
He met another woman several months later, obviously liked her a lot, and said she felt the same toward him. But his inability to enjoy sex, and do so fully, continued. Because of the strong bond Justin and Angela had formed, the relationship moved forward. She was very supportive and understanding and they both hoped his continuing mental health therapy would resolve his issue.
I initially asked Justin’s subconscious mind about “reasons’ that had contributed to his sexual performance problems. His mother’s critical comments had caused Justin to doubt himself during brief sexual encounters in his later teen years. In the long-term relationship, he became nervous about his partner’s reactions, fearing it would not work and ashamed that he could not satisfy her. He became completely intimidated by the fear of failure. That was reinforced by his hearing from friends how wonderful their sex lives were. He felt angry, frustrated, disappointed and discouraged.
As Justin released the influence of the above reasons, he was able to begin replacing his former “failures” with positive perceptions, which, with reinforcement, could become the new habit within his subconscious mind. He imagined himself running free outside, down a path in the woods with the peacefulness of nature around him. He envisioned enjoying and engaging in normal, natural and fully-satisfying sexual relations with Angela. He was smiling and felt happy, relieved and relaxed. He enjoyed the ability to feel normal again and integrated all those positive feelings and expectations within all aspects of his mind and body.
As Justin disconnected the influences of other factors that had contributed to his performance anxiety, he added many more positive benefits. He became finally free of all his former fears and concerns about things not working, completely comfortable about being able to fully enjoy normal sexual relations, and calm and comfortable with everything. He was proud and relieved to be free of the former embarrassment and humiliation, and enjoyed a sense of complete, total achievement and accomplishment. He imagined his sexual desires, abilities and prowess flowing naturally, like a stream from which a beaver dam had just been removed.
Justin added other positives and connected everything with an affirmation that would help all it represented become the new habit in his subconscious mind. At that time, near the end of our fourth session, I asked his subconscious mind what percentage of total accomplishment and achievement, on a scale from one to 100, he was at. The number 98 popped into his mind. I asked if Justin doing the continued reinforcement work would enable the figure to reach 100 and he got a strong YES! I made a personalized recording, bulging with positive reinforcers Justin had brought forward, and he was on his way.
As we parted ways, I said I would call in four weeks to see how everything was going. I did, and Justin said things had been working perfectly with only one minor exception. He felt completely free of stress and pressure and was enjoying things working naturally and comfortably. I said I’d like to call in another four weeks – just to make sure – and that he should continue his hypnotic reinforcement exercises.
When I called, Justin said he was doing very well and everything was perfect! He had also been hired for a new position in another state and he and Angela were excited about moving forward together!
Print this certificate and bring it with you to receive
off the cost of an appointment with
Hugh Sadlier, M.Ed., BCCH Board Certified Consulting Hypnotist
Hugh Sadlier, M.Ed., BCCH Board Certified Consulting Hypnotist
222 Auburn Street ~ Suite 102 Portland, Maine 04013
1280 Morgan Bay Road Blue Hill, Maine 04614
Phone: 207.773.5200 E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org Website: www.hypno-health.net
Remember: Hypnosis can be done in the office, by phone, and via Skype.